Wednesday, 7 October 2015

The Now

I found this here
Things feel like they have gently, simply, calmly, quietly slotted into place recently, and I've found myself thinking "Oh there you are. I've been waiting for you". 

It's funny, isn't it, how that happens?

I've had so many people trying to warn me off this feeling, though. Trying to tell me to take a step back, that I don't owe anyone anything, that I should take some time for myself

That isn't what I want though.

Time is a difficult thing, though. There's just constantly too little of it, too many other pressing demands- meetings and friends and theatre trips, and Brussels and individuals and groups who need attention.

I always say that if I had a superpower, I would want to be able to control time. To travel in it, to pause it, to replay certain wonderful wonderful moments ad nauseum. That power would be incredibly useful, don't you think?

I feel like I've found a moment in my life where I'm just really very... settled? Calm? Content, even? I'm not really sure what the word to describe this feeling is, but I'm enjoying it.

I'm enjoying the evenings in tartan pyjama bottoms and an extra-large charcoal grey cashmere jumpers. I'm enjoying the nights at the NHM, dressed in a short dress and high heels, red wine in hand and the most wonderful company at my elbow. I'm enjoying the days at work, where I get to show my worth, and impress all the right people, and silence the doubters. I'm enjoying the Sunday mornings in bed with hot drinks.

If I could pause a moment, I think it would be now. 

It would allow us to enjoy each other, enjoy The Now, to drink in the moment and these feelings and the fact that this is my favourite time of year. 

But instead, we march on. Time racing past, hurling us forwards, bringing us towards Whatever It Is That Comes Next.

Winter. Trips away. More meetings, more pressures on our time. 

But we'll meet it when it comes, and until then, we'll enjoy this moment. We'll think, and we'll breathe, and we'll face whatever it coming when it arrives.

2 comments:

  1. Time is so fickle, isn't it? I definitely recognise the feeling of wanting to pause time at certain moments. It's so nice to hear that you're feeling settled and content!

    Mimmi xx
    Muted Mornings

    ReplyDelete

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