Saturday, 20 December 2014

Wants and Needs


We all do silly things sometimes. It's part of life, really. We make mistakes, we apologise, we move on. 

But what about when one of those things doesn't happen? When someone doesn't apologise, or you don't want to move on?

On Friday night, I was involved in something which had the potential to be a big problem for someone else, and I do hope that won't actually happen. I was selfish and silly, and I knew better. On Saturday, apologies were said, Christmas wishes exchanged, and I think things might be normal by the new year.  

But what if I don't want the old normal? What if, knowing what I now know, and thinking all the thoughts which have been swirling around my head, what if I want to change direction, and take this somewhere else?

But what if that isn't my choice?

It's the problem with other people really. You don't get a say in so many things which affect you. But I don't think I can do what I want to do in this situation. What I want to do is not the sensible thing, and between you and me, I can't really cope with complicated right now. And I don't want to make things difficult for myself.

What do you do when what you want and what you need are two very different things? You can tell yourself that you need the thing you want, but that doesn't mean it's true. 

I was selfish and now I am trying to be the opposite. And it's hurting in a way that surprises me. 

6 comments:

  1. I never know if my comments go through. I hope so. :)

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  2. Well the comment I had written (before) didn't "work". The essence of what I think is: Your heart's desire is what you should pursue. Life is too short and precious to hold yourself back from what you want. If you pursue the desire and it isn't meant to be...then you'll never have to second guess yourself later.
    But...if you go after your heart's desire and it works...the complications will likely melt away. Or become something that isn't as overwhelming as originally thought.
    I think the heart is to be trusted so much more than our logic. If we only do what is "logical" we can miss a lot of magic. :)

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    1. Sorry you're having trouble commenting Kimberly! Thanks though. I do wish it was quite as simple as following my heart but think my head has to play a very significant part in this one. Sad times though, I do like a bit of magic! xx

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  3. Replies
    1. I will, love. Think I'll be doing the kind/ right thing than what I want to this time! (Kinder to myself too, I think...) xx

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