Tuesday, 25 November 2014

On The Year That's Been




This year has been tough, no?

Maybe it's just me. Maybe it isn't just me. But in 2014, I've started  new jobs (twice) and moved cities (twice). I've lived in four different houses, with nine different people. I found a boyfriend. I broke up with that boyfriend. I've played for multiple korfball teams. I've visited Dorset and Cornwall and Wiltshire and Lincolnshire and Norfolk and Kent. I've been to Barcelona and convinced a waitress I speak fluent Spanish (I don't). I've made friends and drifted apart from friends. I've celebrated engagements. I've mourned the loss of a grandparent. I've lost weight- and gained it all back again and more. I've baked a wedding cake, and brownies and countless cupcakes. I've drank wine and gin and something like 371031 ml of tea (I worked it out. I''d say I drink an average of four half-pint (284 ml) mugs of tea a day. So 284 x 4 x 365 = 371031. Jesus). I've drank so few cups of coffee they could probably all be counted on my fingers and toes. I've sobbed and I've laughed and I've found myself lying on the floor wondering what the hell is going on- both drunkenly at 3am and soberly at 3pm.

I've had to deal with so much this year, and my poor little brain has just about given up on it. This year I've been fine and not fine and everything in between. 

But it hasn't been the worst year on record. It really hasn't. It's not been the best year on record either though.


I've achieved so much this year. I'm really so proud of myself for being so bloody BRAVE this year- both in ways people know about (like moving jobs) and in ways people don't (which I'm not going to talk about). I've impressed myself, and I've apparently blown other people away. I've been generous and I've been selfish and I've been kind and I've been mean.

I feel like I'm ending 2014 knowing myself a little better than I did on 1st January. I've been SO unbelievably hard on myself this year when I should be proud of everything I've done. But while that isn't in my nature, I at least have a camp full of cheerleaders yelling and screaming for me every step of the way. I'm finishing 2014 feeling battered and bruised and hurt and lost and sad but just a little hopeful. At one point, I never thought I'd make it to 2014, let alone the whole way through it. And maybe that in itself is something to be proud of.

2014 has been a rollercoaster. And we still have another whole month left of 2014. But at least I have socially-accepted daily chocolate (more on my AMAZING advent calendars to come) and more mince pies than I can shake a stick at to get me through December.

8 comments:

  1. I can't believe how much change you've had to deal with this year – and you've dealt with it so incredibly well! So proud of you. Can't wait for our meet up very soon. xxxx Leonie

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  2. It certainly seems like you've had a lot of changes to tackle this year, well done! I'm not good with change so I know it isn't always easy. I hope next year is a little kinder to you lovely. You deserve it! And in the meantime you're right, there's always the daily dose of advent chocolate :) xxx

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  3. Wow, sounds like you have had a lot to deal with, but it sounds like you have come a long way. Everything that's happened can only make you stronger, hopefully next year will be a little nicer to you. xx

    Bethan Likes

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  4. Sounds like you've had a really tough year. I hope next year will be better, and I'm glad to hear that you've at least got a small feeling of hopefulness in it all. Keep going!

    xx Mimmi, Muted Mornings

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  5. It sounds like you've had a hell of a year but are being really positive about it. You should be proud.

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  6. I love this! Also a year of crazy change for me too, new jobs, new cities, moving house but it is good and as long as we end the year a little bit better then always worth it! That is a lot of tea, I hate to think of the amount of diet coke I have put away this year! x

    Jasmin Charlotte | UK Lifestyle Blog

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  7. Your 2014 sounds a lot like my 2014. It's funny because I moved cities and jobs twice as well. LoL. This year has definitely been crazy for me. And like you, I learned alot about myself. It's moments like these that push us to evolve into a greater version of ourself, otherwise we would just stay the same. New experiences are there to teach us something new that we would have never learned otherwise. There is always a greater purpose for the things we go through. I'm glad to have come out a stronger person in the end. It seems all bad when we're going through it but 6 months or 10 years from now, I always feel like I'll see why I went throught the things I did.

    I hope the rest of the year treats you well.

    - J | http://jlogproject.wordpress.com/

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  8. You've been through so many changes this year but I guess that's what makes life so amazing, the super ups and downs we go through and being proud of ourselves for getting through these things is a big thing! It gets a little easier as time goes on I think :) this year has been weird for me too, first year at uni, and first term of second year, panic attacks, more than six months of depression which will hopefully be beaten next year. The last six months have been the hardest of my life and as you said you didn't think you'd make it to 2014, well I didn't think I'd make it to the end of it, to 2015. Wow still can't believe it haha. You have all of us cheerleaders here too!! :D big hugs! xoxo

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