The other evening, a few friends and I had a chill night at home watching Love and Other Drugs and eating frozen yoghurt (107 calories a tub! Basically means you can eat two).
At one point in the film, Jake Gyllenhaal is sitting in the bathtub, and Anne Hathaway asks him if he can think of four things he likes about himself. When he shakes his head, or says no, or answers in some way in the negative (I can’t remember exactly what happens), she’s horrified- asking “Do you not think you’re generous? Or sweet? Or smart?”, and he’s there shaking his head.
And it made me think- can I really honestly think of four things I like about myself?
It sounds like a small task- I can easily think of four things I like about most of the people I care about. For example, my brother E- I like how silly he is, how musical he is, how good he is at what he does for a living, and how caring he is. And my friend M- I like how she just tells you how it is sometimes, and how she is such a great hostess, and how she always always gets it when I’m having a flap, and how generous she is.
|No real reason. But it's from here|
But myself? Not quite such an easy task. I probably couldn’t even think of four things I like about my appearance, let alone my personality- I have a tendency to think about myself in negative terms, as I’m sure we all do- in fact, J is currently on a mission to make me think of myself as a good person so he’ll probably enjoy this. I also have a tendency to describe myself as “fairly nondescript”, which apparently isn’t very nice and I suppose it’s true- if I wouldn’t describe another person in a certain way, why am I doing it to myself? Also, I saw a tweet from Rosie of A Rosie Outlook the other day where she questioned why her brain wasn’t on her side when it came to looking at herself in the mirror, which was a really interesting thought actually- why do we torture ourselves so? Why can we not think of four good things about ourselves?
So yes. This is me on a mission to think of myself in more positive terms. And therefore here are four things I like about myself:
|That's my thoughtful face. Can't work out what was going on to make me pull it though.|
- I’m a good listener. If you have a problem, I’m a good person to talk to about it because I will a) listen and b) talk it out with you. I like helping people, I like trying to make them feel better about whatever it is that’s bothering them. Even if that is just sitting there with you while you cry and saying “You know what, that really is shit” because sometimes that’s all you need to hear.
- I’m a good cook. I am a good cook and I like making things for other people and I like this about myself. I love cooking just for myself, it’s true- but I love sharing good food with people I love, and I like that about myself. I like how I feel when I cook for other people.
- I’m organised and dependable. I was voted team leader/ most reliable on a university trip to Paris a couple of years ago because I could be completely relied upon to get everyone where we needed to be on time. I love being organised- I like the fact that I’m never late, and always turn up with all the things I need (and several things I don’t). If I say I’ll be somewhere, I’ll be there. I like being reliable- I think it’s a really, really good quality.
- I like that I’m smart. I know this sounds cocky but it’s true- I’m no fool, and (less positively) I really don’t suffer fools gladly. I can talk intelligently about a pretty wide range of topics, and I love learning new and different things. I like that if you teach me something, I’ll remember it, and be able to hold a conversation about it. I like that if I find something interesting, I’ll try to find out more about it- I’ll research, and read up, and remember so that next time it comes up, I’ll be able to talk about it. I like having a brain, and I like using it.
And now it’s your turn- go forth and say nice things about yourself. And try to think- “If I wouldn’t say this about someone else, why the hell am I saying it about myself?” It’s something I’m going to have to work on (a lot) but I think it’s probably a good thing to do.