I start a new job tomorrow and I am flipping terrified. It's a massive change from what I was doing before Christmas, and I'm still not entirely convinced they don't think I'm a complete moron.
|This girl looks far too polished to be seen as a moron. I'm not her. From here|
They may, or may not think this due to the fact that when asked "What are the five skills you feel the role needs, which you could bring to this position?" (or words to that effect), I started by saying two fairly sensible things, then had a complete panic where my mind went completely blank. I sat there, panic stricken and managed to choke out "I'm so sorry, I'm really nervous and my mind has gone completely blank". The panel were very sweet about it, told me to take my time, have a sip of water, and carry on when I was ready- which I did. By saying "Well, I know I'm really not demonstrating this right now, but I actually deal with pressure incredibly well".
Seriously. I don't think I could have chosen a more moronic thing to say in that situation. Fortunately, they seemed to see the funny side of it, and since I was offered the job anyway, I can't have been that bad, can I?!
To be honest, there were many other things running through my head at that point, I'm just pleased something vaguely work appropriate came out of my mouth. But how much fun would it have been had I been able to say whatever I wanted?! The other day, Kristin posted on skills she wished she could put on her resume and I thought it sounded like a brilliant idea. So- here are five things I wish I could have said in answer to that question.
1. I bake a lot, and I am apparently quite good at it- this genuinely nearly came out of my mouth, because I just had no idea what else to say. However, I think I could swing this one- baking shows patience, precision, and attention to detail. And anyway, who doesn't love someone who brings in cake every now and then? Even better- someone who makes an excellent cup of tea to go with said cake.
2. I'm a fount of useless knowledge. The QI Elves have nothing on me. I may not know who is currently top of the Premiership, and I certainly couldn't point to Leeds on a map, but I do know that the collective noun for a group of cats is a pounce, and how to pick up an ice cube only using string and salt. And you never know when that might come in handy.
3. I am a complete and utter morning person. Honestly- if you aren't a morning person, you really don't want to be around me first thing. Once I'm awake, I am awake, and I think everyone in the vicinity should be too. I bounce around, I have solo dance parties in the kitchen while I'm making breakfast, I sing. Yes, it could be seen as annoying, but it also means I'm brilliant in a 9am meeting.
4. I'm impatient, and I expect others to be too. Seriously. Sounds like a bad thing, but it isn't. In all of my previous workplaces, I have baffled people by how quickly I do things. If I'm given a task, I don't sit around and wait to do it- I do it there and then, hand it back with a smile, and ask "what's next?". Obviously this goes somewhat out of the window when I'm horrendously busy, but that's when the "time management and prioritisation skills" come in. And that's a skill I do mention
5. I am really, really stubborn, and really, really competitive. Can't do it? Can't do it? Go away, just because I'm small doesn't mean I can't polish off that entire pizza, or lift my six foot brother up. If you tell me I can't do something, chances are I will then go ahead to do it just to prove you wrong. And competition? I turn absolutely everything into a competition, whether that's out-swimming someone I don't know, or getting to the car before you, or finishing all of my work before you've finished task number one on your to-do list. They go hand in hand, and mean that I really don'y give up easily at all.
Fortunately for everyone, I don't put these things on my CV, because I don't think I would have ever been hired. I tend to leave these to be discovered by employers, friends, potential love interests, and distant family members all by themselves, and for the most part, no one seems to mind any of them. Either that, or the cake making makes up for absolutely everything else.