Wednesday, 7 August 2013

Did I Ever Tell You About The Time When...

... I made an absolute fool of myself?

No? Oh dear. I suppose that means I have to tell you now, doesn't it?

To be honest, I make a complete idiot of myself on a fairly regular basis. Having a mouth which works faster than my brain and being clumsy generally means that it's quite easy for me to do quite silly things. 

A nice outtake from my "jumping-on-a-beach" picture attempts. This was attempt 4/149
For example, there was the year I went to a Kung Fu Christmas party. I was the youngest lady there by a long way, so all of the older men were being kind and buying me glasses of wine. Despite my protestations and requests for small glasses, I ended up drinking nearly two bottles of wine on an empty stomach- no mean feat, for a petite 18 year old. This resulted in me making our designated driver pull over so I could be sick, then falling out of the car and having to be lifted back in by my father, who thought it was the funniest thing in the world (fortunately). The next day I had the worst wine flu (i.e. hangover...) ever.

Or the times at work I've said things without thinking about it? Like the time B was annoying P, who had a cold, and B asked P to make him a cup of tea. So I absentmindedly said "P, just lick around the edge of his mug and give him your cold, that'll shut him up", much to the shock of everyone in hearing distance. 

And last week, a colleague was sat on the floor sorting some paperwork, when another walked past and asked what she was doing on the floor. I responded (again, without thinking)- "Oh she fell over and we're just leaving her there." Again, everyone was pretty shocked (though I'm less sure as to why about this one- surely that wasn't such a ridiculous thing to say?!)

I still find this hilarious. From Emergency Compliment
Oh, and there was also the time I was skipping down the street on a night out with my friend J on our way home from a night out. I have no idea what happened (but I have always blamed J), but somehow I ended up falling over and skidding for about three meters on my knee, before rolling over and just lying on my back laughing hysterically until someone came to pick me up. I still have absolutely no recollection of this incident.

So there we have it! A couple of my indiscretions for your enjoyment on a Wednesday. Now it's your turn- what silly things have you done recently (or not so recently, if that floats your boat)?


  1. I am a super plonker. My favourite was when I was about 21. In a gift shop. I found these glasses that you put on and it made everything all googly and wonky. I turned to my mum's boyfriend and told him to 'stick these on.' It wasn't my mum's boyfriend, it was a random. Obviously. And instead of admitting that I'd made a mistake, I just rolled with it. The man very obligingly put the stupid glasses on. I kept a straight face and said 'they're great aren't they!?' Yes I am a tit, but also a brilliant actress!

    Jenny | sunny sweet pea xx

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  3. I'm 112% the clumsiest person that ever lived which everyone I know seems to find utterly entertaining! Currently nursing a broken tiny toe (inadvertent kicking contest with the photocopier at work-it won!) Not cool.
    And if you ever run into me on a Devon-y street ask to see my big bruise. Sure, it'd be weird and a little uncomfortable but it's a beast and definitely worth a look/story exchange!

  4. If anyone said those things at my work we'd all just laugh and find it funny, we definitely wouldn't be in shock! I'll tell you something embarrassing that my fiance did (which was embarrassing for me too), we were out having afternoon tea with my parents, when the waitress bought over our tea instead of saying thank you he said well done.....

  5. I always say completely stupid things, case point - Liam is playing Call Of Duty one day and I ask "Do they have a kill to death ratio in the army?"... oh dear.



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