Friday, 17 May 2013

An Idiot's Guide To Dealing With Idiots

Let's face it- people are idiots.

For the purpose of this post, I'm taking "idiot" to mean "a person who is just really annoying in any way shape or form". And I am including myself in this- hence the apostrophe in the first "Idiot's"- I am an idiot, this is my guide. GRAMMAR IS IMPORTANT PEOPLE.

From here

There are certainly a LOT of lovely people out there- but come on. We've all been confronted with someone who just really grinds your gears. I seem to come across these silly people rather a lot, and given that it's getting to the time of year when university is finishing and people are having to join The Real World, or are getting ready to start university, I thought I'd produce a little guide to dealing with those ridiculous people, as you may soon start to encounter them too.

In life, we are always going to come across people we don't get on with, or who are frankly idiotic. So here is The Idiot's Guide To Dealing With Idiots. And this is coming from a girl who really doesn't suffer fools gladly, and who can be quite intolerant (I am working on it, I know it's a terrible trait).

1. Invest in headphones. Whether you are in the library, in the office, or in a coffee shop, there will always be someone around who is shouting far to loudly about their awkward opinions on something they probably know very little about, or giving a running commentary of everything they are doing. People. Headphones are your friend

2. Learn to hold your tongue. More often than not, it just isn't worth the energy arguing with a person who is certain they're right when you know that they are wrong. Just smile, go "Oh really?" and carry on doing what you were doing before.

3. Perfect the eye roll (with your back to them). Fairly self explanatory. I'm lucky enough to sit with my back to most of the office, so when someone is being ridiculous, I can just roll my eyes at my screen and ignore them.

4. Learn to change the subject. For example: on Thursday, I was chattering to a work colleague who I get on really well with. We're both off on exciting holidays soon (more on mine soon!) and were having a gossip about this. From the other end of the room, another colleague pipes up "Ooh, Thailand Alice? How much is that costing you then?". Frankly, I couldn't get over how rude this was- I would never DREAM of asking someone how much their holiday cost. And this wasn't coming from a colleague I get on well with and I felt comfortable sharing my personal finances with. Le sigh. So I just answered "Oh a fair bit" and changed the subject very quickly to flights on little planes. Back in safe territory.

5. Do not bitch about them. You never know- the person you're moaning at could really like the idiot. Remember- just because you think someone is stupid, doesn't mean everyone else agrees (I know people who have got into very hot water by forgetting this one).

6. Let others bitch about them. However. If someone comes up to you and bitches about the really annoying person in your halls/ class, feel free to nod along, knowing that you aren't the only one who wants to rip your own arm off just so you have something to throw at the silly person whinging about the fact that it's warm after our 11 month winter.

7. Learn to stand up for yourself (politely). This one is particularly relevant for students. At university, group work will happen. Why, I'm not sure- in my opinion, it is not a valid means of assessment as there is always one person who doesn't pull their weight, or even worse, takes credit for the work you've done. Learn to say "You know what Frank, your name isn't going on the report because you didn't contribute"- and have a natter to your lecturer about it. Or your line manager if this happens at work.

8. Remember- everyone is different. Just remind yourself that they have different opinions to you, and that they are entitled to these opinions. And choose to ignore them, if you think they're wrong- some people will not be told, and as I've said before, trying to convince them otherwise really isn't worth the effort sometimes.

9. Smile sweetly and carry on. Literally the only thing you can do sometimes. Walking out of the room is also permitted.

10. Sarcasm is your friend. Last and by no means least- sarcasm. If you get good at this, the person won't even know you're being sarky. This has saved my sanity on more than one occasion. 

I know this is all really self explanatory, however, it really might make a difference to how you feel. And remember- you can always rant about it on Twitter if all else fails.

From here


  1. : ) I know exactly what you mean. This is why I'm self-employed. I don't think I could ever work in an office envirnment again... I'm from the states and here in the South we say ,"bless their heart" which really means, "you poor little dumbass" or when somebody is saying something really rude/offensive/or just being annoying, we say, "that's nice", which really means fuck off.

    1. Oh I love saying "bless your heart" when someone is being ridiculous- and I constantly go "oh that's nice..." when I'm trying to get someone to shut up!! xx

  2. How do you spell orange?

  3. Tehe, so funny and god, you co-worker sounds obnoxious, it is not okay to ask people questions like that. Thailand though!! How exciting.

    I have perfected the eyebrow raise, which would be fine but since I have started filling them it is pretty obvious what I am feeling...

    Em x

    1. I was so shocked by it! I am VERY excited by Thailand. I'm terrible at the single eyebrow raise, but I'm great at the eye roll. Fortunately another colleague is too, so we just roll our eyes at each other...! xx

  4. Omg I am constantly rolling my eyes these days! I'm sure I must look like I think I'm superior to everyone but there's so many idiots around it seems! I'm afraid I'm great at bitching too, it's a well developed skill ;)

    1. I'm always worried about looking like I think I'm superior- hence why I roll my eyes at the screen! I love bitching but always fear being caught- I'm such a wimp!! xx


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